In society the guy is always the bad guy. Being a divorce dad is tough. Even if you were not the cause of your marriage’s break up it always seems to end up being your fault. What’s worse is your kids refuse to see you because mommy said you’re an awful person.
The Bad Egg
There are some women, who in their overly charged emotional status involved the kids in matters that should have been for adults. In divorce kids become weapons and bargaining chips.
What You Should Do
No matter what happens, even if they throw a fit when their spending time with you, don’t give up! Your kids are simply that, kids they cannot analyze yet. Their opinions are based on what adults close to them say. .
Always keep yourself in check. Never show the other parent how angry or hurt you are. A reaction will only jeer them into even more bizarre behavior. Never ever retaliate, that makes you no better than your ex.
Keeping the Law
Keep your lawyer up to date. Follow court orders on financial support, visitation rights and etc. Make sure that the courts continue to recognize your right to be with your children. The only reason your ex wife can give to deprive you of your kids is abuse or threats against the safety of the children. Cooperation and being open to supervised visits will show the court that you are being falsely accused and smeared.
Don’t be hostile when your ex refuses to give the children when it’s your turn, this may be used against you. Continue with the court designated arrangements and when your rights are infringed upon follow legal procedures and file a grievance. Keep a record of your activities incase you will be questioned, should allegations arise.
Involving your children in the problem will greatly affect your relationship with them. Learn to compartmentalize and have fun with the time you spend with the kids. Keep watch of your own behavior. Be careful not to turn into the same ways as your ex wife have.
Alienation usually begins when one of the spouses becomes involved in a serious relationship. When on of the parents begin dating, they tend to begin the relationship on the basis of being a divorced person. There is the tendency of one thing to assert independence from the ex half and a civil relationship then turns hostile. Always keep your attorney on speed dial in case problems should arise.
Just because you are divorced does not mean your not a family anymore. Petition the courts to order your ex to go to family therapy with you. During the program, be open, never show signs of irritation. A tension free environment always achieves more positive results. If extended family members are involved bring them to family court. If the boyfriend is one of the problem contributors make him come to the therapy session too. After all he has to recognize the scopes of his limitations.
Being a divorced dad is no easy task, but your priority should perpetually be your children. Their future and well being depends on you being able to pull through for them. Someday when they have grown older and understand more they will thank you for fighting for them.